When I take the time to think about it, I don’t think I was ever fortunate to have a mentor, spotting me, guiding me, imparting their knowledge and watching me grow. At the very least, what I’ve often thought were “mentors”, were just encounters that deflected on my trajectory and made it somehow think. To borrow into the present fad, “influencers” might be a better word for what these people did to me.
I could also say catalysts, which might be a more appropriate term. In fact, what I’m describing is more common than the classic “mentor–mentee” narrative we’re all taught to expect. Perhaps, the distinction I’m making between mentors and catalysts is something most of us never articulate, but many end up experiencing.
Again, if a mentor is someone who walks alongside us, a catalyst is someone who bumps into us and changes our direction. In reality, most people have far more catalysts than mentors — but we often mislabel them as mentors because “mentor” is the socially approved story.
True mentors have three characteristics: They are there for the duration, they actively invest in our growth and they offer guidance, not just influence. They’re relational, present and committed.
They’re the people who say, “I see where you’re going — let me help you get there.”
Most people have very few of these, sometimes none. On the other hand, catalysts are very different:
They appear briefly enough to disrupt our thinking, shift our trajectory and don’t stay around to watch what happens next. Catalysts are not mentors, they’re just inflection points. For instance, they’re the professor who said one sentence that stuck, the colleague who challenged our assumptions, the stranger whose comment re-framed our worldview or sometimes the book that jolted us awake.
Catalysts don’t guide us — they ignite us. We generally confuse the two because our cultural narrative around growth is built around mentorship and we’re told that successful people have mentors. We’re also told that guidance is the noble path and this wisdom can only be passed down through relationships.
Many of us never have a true mentor not because they’re unlucky, but because mentorship requires relationships, resources, time, alignment, mutual commitment and a shared sense of purpose. Catalysts, however, can be everywhere as life is full of collisions, not apprenticeships.
Finally, if some people thrive under mentorship, others, like me perhaps who tend to be independent thinkers, self-directed learners, and people who value autonomy — grow more through catalytic encounters. Maybe I could say for people like me, catalysts often are the real mentors — just in a different form.
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