How much longer, Doctor?

The morning before yesterday, I was I listening to the radio and there was that physician on who was talking about his interaction with terminally-ill patients. He was explaining that when he was telling them that they had a given amount of months to live, he was generally quoting the “mean” which stood for the half-way-point between the fastest negative outcome and the extreme longer one.

Like most of us, I have no desire to quick the bucket, but I am increasingly aware that I'm going motoring at good rate of speed towards that outcome. So, I imagine the dialog between my Doctor and me, after my annual check up next May.

Doctor: Go11, your prognosis doesn't look good.

Go11: What do you mean Doc?

Doctor: I have just found that you have this mortal sickness called living, and that you won't be able to escape it.

Go11: Is it contagious?

Doctor: Thank God it's not, but it's genetic. You got it in your DNA. That's it. Nothing I can do about it.

Go11: How much do I have left to live?

Doctor: Your “mean” prognosis is through 2033.

Go11: What do you mean by “mean” prognosis?

Doctor: It means your living expectancy stands just half-way between a quick death - the worst case scenario - and a protracted one, the best case scenario.

Go11: If I suffered a “quick death” when would that be?

Doctor: Next week.

Go11: What about in the best case scenario?

Doctor: 2051.

Go11: Okay, thanks Doc, I'm going to Snowbird, skiing (remember, we're in May...)