The Electric Dog

It’s hard to stop progress and after electric cars, bikes and lawn-mowers, it’s now time to expand the “electric-thing” to address other lifestyle situations that need to be solved and should be next in the relentless race for continued improvements. 

As any good, opportunistic inventor, I’m thinking of turning a nagging problem into a welcome solution through massive innovation. 

For too long, dogs have been – in my opinion – a plague upon the daily life of many Parkites - the name given to folks living in Park City. Some dog owners don’t leash their animals as they should, some (my next door neighbor) let roam theirs free all around, the more adventurous ride their bikes with their dogs leashed and running to keep up with the bicycle. 

In addition, many old ladies are sticking their micro-dogs on their laps while driving, others still not picking up poop after their pooch, and others openly say that we’re sub-humans for not owning a dog that sheds its hair all over the house, smells and tracks mud when it returns home from having been outside. Worst of all, “dogs that have never, ever bitten anyone” one day or another end up biting someone when the circumstances are right, even though the victim is totally innocen. Have I mentioned ticks? 

To address these problems, I couldn’t thing of anything better than the electric dog (ED). No more emissions (read dog poop), no more barking at night or anytime at all when that behavior is unwanted, no more shedding hair with their 100% synthetic fur, and no more wild roaming. 

Let me explain, my dog would be a demilitarized version of the robot-dog used at Tyndall Air Force Base, for security and surveillance of the base located 12 miles east of Panama City, Florida (see video). 

The regualar ED would never bite anyone and might result in a reduction of one’s homeowner’s insurance premium. Typically, the ED, could be used, as a husky, to draw a sled, as a substitute for a horse in backyard skijoring, or even as an adjunct mode of propulsion for non motorized biking, mountain-biking, as well as skateboarding. 

The ED would be of the “plug and play” type and could be fully recharged overnight for a complete day of gratifying and worry-free dog ownership. Tax credit? Good question, I have not yet thought about that one...