Accidental death of a potgut

For those not familiar with the Rocky Mountains region, what's called a “potgut” is a rodent with a popular name derived from their apparent fat looking belly. a so-called ground squiirel. In fact, they are known in scientific circles as Uinta ground squirrels, are primarily herbivorous, and mostly eat grass, seeds, and leaves.

They disappear from view in August and return in April or May. In between, they are supposed to hibernate. Not a bad life! Their only problem is that they’re close to the ground and even though they can stand up on their hind-legs to see a bit farther, crossing a road can be a dangerous endeavor. Many get ran over that way. 

So yesterday, as we were walking, we saw one laying flattened in the gutter. A sad story that made me think “Do potguts go to Heaven?” So, I imagined our flat little fellow, showing up at the Pearly Gates and welcomed by Saint Peter. 

• St. Peter: Hi, who are you? 
• Potgut: I’m what they call a Potgut in Utah 
• St. Peter: Never heard of that… 
• Potgout: Do you speak Latin? 
• St. Peter: Yeah, I used to live in Rome… 
• Potgut: I’m a Urocitellus armatus 
• St. Peter: What happened to you? 
• Potgut: I got ran over by a Tesla driven well over the speed limit! 
• St. Peter: I see, that’s too bad, next time pay attention! Wait a second and let me see what I can do for you… I could put you upstairs, it’s the comfy version of Eternity… Here you go, there’s a tiny vacant corner available for you. 
• Potgut: I need a lot of sleep, is there a good bed there? 
• St. Peter: Well the company that dwells upstairs is pretty boring. not fun at all, so sleeping is a great option! 
• Potgut: Can I do it eternally? 
• St. Peter: Just tell the chambermaid when you get there and she’ll set you up! Let me get you your key...