Go 11

It's always with great interest that I scan my past experiences, hoping to uncover a little gem that I was unable to recognize or appreciate when certain events were actually taking place. More often than not, I come away with a treasure trove of insights that suddenly flash back into my consciousness, and I feel that this exercise is enormously beneficial. 

There is one particular trend that I have noticed, and it concerns how impatient, indecisive and unfocused I could be during many periods of my youth and early adulthood. 

I seemed to have a rather unfortunate tendency to give up on plans, projects and directions whenever pain, difficulty or discouragement began to cloud my judgment. My goals were there, but they were often too weakly defined and, more importantly, I was woefully unprepared for the obstacles standing between me and their achievement. 

Looking back, I realize that I spent far too much time navigating a world of doubt, fear and sometimes low self-esteem. I wanted to move forward, but I wasn't always equipped with the patience, determination or confidence to withstand the inevitable bumps along the way. 

Then I began asking myself: What was behind this behavior? Was it nature or nurture? Was I simply wired that way, or had my upbringing, environment and early experiences contributed to shaping these tendencies? I have often leaned toward the latter explanation, although I have never been entirely convinced. Perhaps the answer is more complicated than either explanation. 

Maybe it was a combination of temperament, circumstances, expectations and, above all, a lack of experience in dealing with adversity. I suspect that one of my biggest shortcomings was that I often fell in love with the destination without fully understanding the journey. I could picture what I wanted to accomplish, but I had little appreciation for the amount of patience, frustration, sacrifice and perseverance that might be required to get there. 

And isn't that one of the traps we frequently fall into? We confuse the difficulty of the journey with evidence that we have chosen the wrong destination. The moment things become uncomfortable, we start questioning our abilities, our decisions and sometimes even our original aspirations. 

Yet, difficulty is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is simply part of the admission price for getting somewhere worthwhile. One last question would be to see if over the years, age and experience make us respond in different ways to similar challenges. 

If this intrigues you, read the next blog…