Evian's naïveté

Yesterday, as we were downloading the gondola at the Canyons, we rode with three young snowboarders, one one them sporting a t-shirt that said “naive” with the Evian water logo.

Even though I was born just miles away from the plant where the famous and expensive water is bottled, it had never downed on me that “Evian” spelled backwards could read “Naive.” Quite a slip of tongue, or a sly inference into the lack of critical thinking from snobbish consumers, that fall for the marketing promises that a well-branded bottle of water will make them feel healthier and much cooler!

Vive la différence!

Last week as we were walking around our neighborhood, I saw that woman coming towards us and running behind something that looks like a jogger stroller, except that, as she approached, it didn't appear to have the larger wheels found on the genuine article. What she was pushing looked more like a modified grocery cart than the tool committed runners push around town with their offspring as passenger.

Just like certain strollers, there appeared to be space for several passengers, and I assumed these were twins. As she ran by us we saw two cats inside. Would it help to add that the lady was dressed like a scarecrow and was running in hiking shoes? Perhaps not; it was just another example of how different we all are and these particularities show up more dramatically in a small community like ours than in New York City...

The political sides of skiing

Even though I learned the rudiments of snowboarding, I don't enjoy it that much and while I can ride my monoski - some call it monoboard - pretty well, I haven't used it for quite sometime. Why is it? I have absolutely nothing against people on single boards, I marvel at the cool, elongated tracks certain leave in powder, but I don't envy them. For one thing, I am of the opinion that only having one set of edges in contact with the snow is clearly limiting and isn't as nearly fun as having two dueling skis wanting to do things on their own. To me that's what is keeping life on snow interesting.

That's right, I feel that riding the snow on one single board is far too predictable and lacks the adrenaline rush I get on two. It's far too boring for me; I have to stay awake! I would add that the spirit of contradiction that prevails between my boards is never the same; in fact, it evolves over the years. For instance, when I began skiing, my skis were converging most of the time, “making the piece of pie” as instructors would say. It didn't mean they agreed, they simply wanted to be close and appeared to enjoy starring at each other.

Today they still do it at times, but more rarely. Most of the time, they tend to diverge; like some old married couples, they want their own “space” and must be getting tired of so many years of togetherness. Worse, there are times when they can't seem to get along, aren't able to hold a straight line and one only carves because the other does. Harmonious team work might not be part of their value system. To sum it all up, they appear to be constantly crossed at each other. I wonder why? Rarely do they align their thoughts and pull forward into the same direction. Going straight is anathema to them even thought they often go schuss, but they do it because I like to ski fast and when they do, they can ignore each other.

This is why I am sometime tempted to call my left ski a democrat and my right one a republican, but I know better than that; I respectively call them liberal and conservative. Since, I'm naturally a “south paw” or a lefty, you might draw some premature conclusions. In case you'd still wonder however, the guy on top has to play the role of an arbiter and can't be anything but a true independent for the whole enterprise to work. This is why one single board, like a snowboard or a monoski reminds me of some totalitarian, single-party system in which dissent has no place. Yet, with all this pushing and pulling between my pair of skis, I can make bipartisanship work. I have been skiing for more than five decades and so far, my two skis have always managed to compromise and see fir and aspen trees from the same side. I just hope they'll continue...

The US Postal Service (redux)

I thought we had solved our mail distribution problems but was – once more – too optimistic, too soon! Our new, smaller box failed to produce the expected result of mail collection and yesterday, after three mail-less days, my wife went to the Post-Office front desk, cornered the same employee to whom I had given the change-of-address-form who, said he didn't remember anything having remotely anything to do with such a request.

He must have thrown the form away. At any rate, after a rather sterile exchange, the man disappeared into the back room and returned long minutes later with our mail that had piled up inside the old, large box. He then said that he'd make a note of that change in the old box and that things should be “alright...” We'll see.

Montage open for business.

Deer Valley Resort can now boast a new hotel, and what a place that is! It's called Montage. How do you say that? Just try “mɒn'tɑ:ʒ”, that's right, “Montage... Now, what does that mean? If you are French you ought to know as it means a lot of thing. But in the most general sense it define the operations that consist assembling various elements of an object so it can be used. The English sense is more refined in that it's sometimes defined as an art form consisting of putting together or assembling various smaller pictures to create a larger work.

There are two other Montage in operations; one is in Beverley Hills and the other in Laguna Beach where my wife and I had the good fortune to stay for a few days in 2005. Wow, what an experience! That's right, Montage is devoted to delivering a superior guest experience and reflects a commitment to refined living. Guests can expect impeccable hospitality, exceptional epicurean experiences, world class spas and an elegant, yet welcoming ambiance with the goal of creating lasting and cherished memories, which, trust me, stay with you.

The hotel offers 220 rooms and suites and includes a 35,000-square foot spa plus over 50,000 of meeting events and facilities. What must be placed next to these numbers are the 500 employees that will make the entire plan work. Just do the math: two and a half person catering to each guest room! In addition to the St. Regis Hotel, also in Deer Valley, and the Waldorf-Astoria at the Canyons, Montage is by far the most luxurious residence in Park City and will definitely help our tourist economy. With literally thousands of locals that were invited to the massive open house, we spent almost one and a half hours marveling at the new facilities and were all treated to some hot beverages and snack. A true class act. Thanks for inviting us, Montage!

Terrorism, Republican style

The Republicans held the congress and the president hostage and the latter was the first to blink. Right, there was hostage-taking as the president himself said, but nonetheless Barack Obama has failed me by giving in to the idea that his country is pain-adverse, and can't take what's really good for us in the long-term - the unavoidable immediate suffering. He became an accomplice to delaying the proper cure; by so doing, he's assuring the horrible reckoning (akin of an amputation) that sure will follow. This maybe a reflection of what the American people dream they want (something for nothing) but it still fails to validate Obama's action.

The US Post Office (end)

I'm no fan of the US Postal Services and this is another example why. About 10 days ago we decided to “downsize” our post office box. We had a cavernous one that we couldn't fill in spite of our best efforts. In the past we received plenty of junk-mail, catalogs and subscribed to a few more periodical. These days few folks take the time to write us letters and most of our transactions are made on line without any need for postal delivery. This is how it became time to forgo the super-sized box in favor of a more modest one. The process took me six personal visits to the post office and just came to a successful conclusion yesterday. Here's the sequence of events (true story) that I condensed a great deal so you don't have to go through the whole ordeal.

Day one: I go to the post office and ask to downsize our box. Fill some paper and ask for a special rate only granted by the local postmaster.
Day two: I return the forms, but the clerk, tells me I need to bring my passport in addition to my driver's license for identification
Day three: A different employee asks me for proof of ownership of the property that entitles me to the special rate
Day four: I bring the missing proof, the employee tells me that the postmaster will examine my request and get back to me by phone.
Day five: I receive a phone call from Rhonda, the postmaster; she asks me more questions and make sure I really want what I'm asking for. I confirm. She tells me she'll call me back with a final decision.
Day six: Rhonda calls me back and confirm that my request has been granted. That same day I go to the post office and am told by the desk clerk that the new keys are not ready yet for the smaller box and that I should return the following week (that was this past Friday.) I am also given forms for changing my address and getting a refund for the unused time portion of the larger box (an unexpected bonus!)
Day seven: I give my forms to the clerk; the keys are ready, but the man battles with his computer terminal to get it to spit out a refund. After a thirty minute struggle with the USPS recalcitrant technology, we finally triumph. I get a new set of keys for our new – smaller box – and a refund. Life is beautiful and simple.

I also don't have to wonder why the US Postal Services lost $8.5 billion this past fiscal year...