These bullies that define us

In ending our previous discussion, I suggested that bullies that are confronting us also try to define who we really are and deal with us accordingly. At least this is my observation after observing Trump’s behavior for almost twenty years. 

True, Trump is a born-bully that understands this kind of M.O. better than anyone. It’s hard to deny that bullies often try to define their victims. By targeting specific vulnerabilities, bullies attempt to find a perceived or real weak trait, seize it and then control as well as manipulate their victims' self-perception. This can lead to significant emotional and psychological harm, as victims may internalize the negative labels and stereotypes imposed upon them.

As Donald Trump has shown us, bullies often use a variety of tactics to define their victims, including name-calling by applying hurtful or derogatory labels. There’s also a form of exclusion, in which the victim is pushed away from social groups or activities. When circumstances are favorable, physical aggression can at times be used by applying physical force to intimidate or harm the victim. 

These days, of course there’s also the power of cyberbullying by using technology to harass or humiliate the victim through various social media platforms. During the last elections, Trump has used most of these techniques to define his opponents and each time, all of them have accepted his definitions of them with docility, often by “turning the other cheek” or ignoring their humiliating sting. They should never have allowed it. 

Contrarily to what “well-educated” folks will profess, one should always fight fire by two-times the amount of fire delivered and call bullies for what they are. Had Jeb Bush, when he was called “Low energy Jeb” by Trump, should have grabbed him by his coat lapels and punched him in the face. He would have ended up with a dismissed law-suit and Donald Trump returning to the “Apprentice Show” with his tail between his legs...

Should we ever let others define us?

This question should obviously call for a negative answer. Yet, there’s always someone, hidden in some corner, ready to tell us and the world who we are. 

What we’ve done and who we are, no matter what third parties feel about you or me, should definitely define us! If there is someone that should know us better than our bosses, neighbors or even members of our family it’s us, unless we never were in touch with our own self or are still searching who we are. 

Our self-perception and self-worth must come from within us. While it’s undeniable that the opinions of others may, at times, influence us, it’s us and only us who ultimately have the power to determine our own identity and value. 

 Like every 8 billion people living on Planet Earth, each one of us is unique, with our own strengths, weaknesses, and experiences. Letting others define who we are will lead us to a loss of individuality. Likewise, we ought to avoid unhealthy comparisons to others. It can only lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. 

 If on the contrary we are the ones defining ourselves, we will build self-confidence and resilience. Finally, if we are true to ourselves, if we are our very own person, we’ll attract genuine and meaningful relationships. While it’s always good and important to listen to feedback and learn from others, ultimately, we must do everything in our power to be the authors of our own stories! 

Next time, we’ll discuss how bullies always try to be the ones defining us...

Getting my feet cold…

Last Friday, Park City Mountain opened up a few trails and I felt obliged to go in order to keep my ski Mojo and get my “feet cold”. It was mid-afternoon when I showed up at the parking lot to begin my 72nd ski season. 

The temperature was balmy, the crowd thin and my greatest difficulty was for my old feet to return inside my stiff ski boots. It was very, very hard at first. Eventually, my feet managed to do it, but wondered “How much longer will I be able to go through that?” 

I choose not to answer that question and ambled to the chairlift carrying my skis on my shoulder that at first felt too heavy. 

Then, miraculously, it all came back as I had hoped, including the fact that man-made snow isn’t for me anymore and probably never was. Skiing wasn’t good, but my last day of skiing was less than 6 months ago at Snowbird and I absolutely felt the urge to get back to it.

Against all odds, I stood on my ski like a big boy and at no time was my balance precarious (I put that on the account of one-legged tooth brushing). After four runs, I had enough, was done, returned to my car and felt like a ponderous load had been lifted off my shoulders!

My foundational “slope”

This photo shows the hamlet and the house where I grew up. My parents’ house, built in 1938, was sitting on the edge of a first slope that was followed by a much flatter part before plunging into a yet steeper incline that ended near a last flat area where the Dranse creek flowed. 

As you can see on this picture from the mid 1950s, this two-stage slope would have a significant impact on me. First, as a five year old, I would travel the 200 + vertical feet of that steep slope as an unwitting passenger of a three-wheeled contraption that would eject me at the ultimate slope transition before stopping shy of the creek bank. I was lucky to be alive! 

Then, as my skiing skills developed, I used both sections of the slope (but stayed mostly on the upper one) to train for slalom, with big twigs I had collected instead of real slalom poles (wood was the material in those days). 

Setting the course was much tighter than a modern slalom course is, as I would make four turns in the physical space used for just one. But remember, I was a small kid, it made me turn a lot and it was excellent practice. 

I side-stepped to climb back the slope, which also kept me warm and packed the snow a little bit harder at each passage, a true win-win situation! I did that when I had no regular access to lift-served slopes and well into my teenage years. 

I thought it was a good substitute and that probably was right as it helped me develop into the resilient and resourceful skier I still remain today. So as you can see this slope was placed by the Creator in the right spot at the right time. How lucky was I!

Replacing wiper blades

Before winter, when I remember it, I make a point of checking, and if necessary, changing my car’s wiper blades. In the past, I asked the garage to do that when I got an oil change, but since many stores have a replacement wiper blades display in prominent locations, I have developed the habit of buying them just there and saving some good money in the process. 

The problem with that practice – Yes, there’s a problem – is in installing the darn blades on their respective stems. 

First, forget about making any sense out of the brochure that comes with these replacement parts. Since there are so many types of attachments on the market, there are a multitude of options that require removing and adding small parts that come inside the package if you’ve not lost them while opening it. 

The instructions are totally senseless and impossible to make heads or tails of! I’ve tried and failed each time I have attempted to do this before and have even returned the whole package to the store for a refund, so the best is to go to YouTube and watch a few decent enough videos in an attempt to grasp the best way to install the darn things on your specific car model. 

I had so many difficulties with my last car that I was fearing for my sanity before replacing the wipers on the car that replaced it, after enduring the original ones for two and a half years. 

Yet, after watching 2 or 3 incomplete videos, I was able to piece them together and re-create a practical scenario. It got to work, and after 30 minutes, it all worked beautifully and I was so proud of myself!

The American vs. Italian, Brazilian dream, etc?

As economic conditions are becoming much closer and similar worldwide, at least inside developed and emerging nations, the term "American dream" appears to be losing some of its uniqueness, potency, and appeal. 

It’s no longer what it used to be. Initially and historically, the American Dream was associated with the idea that anyone, regardless of their background, could achieve success through hard work and determination. This notion has often been tied to the promise of upward mobility, material affluence like home ownership, and financial security. 

However, a number of elements have changed over the years while economic disparities have widened both within the US and globally, and as other countries have experienced economic growth, the perception of the American dream as a uniquely attainable ideal has diminished. 

Factors such as reduced life expectancy, social inequality, lingering racism, religiosity, huge health costs, spread of firearms and mass killings, stagnating wages for many, raising Gini index and runaway costs of living, have begun to seriously erode into what the traditional notion of the American dream used to be. 

Now that Trump is preparing his dreaded return to offer us a supercharged American nightmare, he’ll further destroy what had become to be a myth.

This, in conclusion, means that the ___________ dream (plug in your favorite country) might be every bit as good as its heralded American version. One just has to work harder by a few percentage points than their peers, take more risks, be more visionary and of course, be lucky!

Israli drone snipers

This week, NPR (our National Public Radio) reported that eyewitnesses in Gaza have said that Israel's military is using guns attached to drones to carry out attacks on Civilians. Quadcopters are equipped with a video camera, a long gun and their propellers are programmed to compensate for recoil when the gun gets remotely fired. 

Earlier, in April 2024, claims emerged that the Israeli Defense Forces have used armed quadcopter drones against residents of Gaza's Al Nuseirat refugee camp to shoot and kill would-be good Samaritan Palestinians. These drones were using the sounds of crying infants as bait. 

An article by journalist Spencer Ackerman argued that this despicable practice was turning Gaza into "a laboratory of wars for the future." While the IDF's use of armed drones in Gaza has been well-documented, the specific claim of using recorded noises of infants or others in distress stems from an April 16, 2024 report by Maha Hussaini in the Middle East Eye. 

Beyond the obvious human right violation it represents, this new escalation suggests this kind of development is highly concerning for our own safety in general. Think of common criminals and terrorists. What if an enemy of yours (a neighbor, your government) want you dead ? This is as close to a traceless crime there could be ? Are states even thinking of regulating the spread of that kind of device when they hit the buying public ? 

Another new danger to worry about for those who like to...