A job we love! (Part Three)

Typically, we often dislike activities we’re not yet good at or we don’t yet understand. Give it time, mastery, and autonomy, and it’s possible that dislike can turn into appreciation. Again, this won’t work if the dislike comes from value conflict, identity conflict, or chronic stress. None of us can grow to love a work that contradicts our ethics, that suppresses our personality, that chronically empties and exhausts us and that isolates us socially or feels totally meaningless. 

In those cases, “growing to love it” is not growth — it’s self‑flagellation. In reality, we don’t fall in love with jobs, but we fall in love with the competence we gain, the connections we make, the impact we can have on society, the environment or the health of others, the comfort of the routine we fall into, the unique identity it gives us and the person we become through our work.

A job becomes lovable when it becomes a container for personal growth, not when it perfectly matches a passion. When passion and occupation don’t match or clash, here are the strategies that actually work: Shift from “passion” to “craft”, by focusing on becoming excellent at something, this excellence will give us pride. Build meaning around the job, not in the job but around it as meaning comes from supporting our family, contributing to a team, helping clients or users, developing a great reputation and learning resilience. 

Don’t forget to create passion outside of work too, by developing hobbies, relationships, volunteering or embarking into some creative pursuits. Then, work becomes the enabler, not the centerpiece. Adjust the job, not replace it by effecting small changes, like different tasks, different teams, different schedules to transform our experience. 

Personally, I have turned chores around the house or elsewhere into games where I try to improve the quality of my work, creatively tweak certain procedures and measure both quality and time gained. Everything, even the most hateful activity becomes a game! 

Finally, accept that passion is not the only path to fulfillment. Fulfillment could come from stability, mastery, contribution, balance, identity, relationships. Seen that way, passion is only one ingredient. I’m not lamenting its absence, I’m just exploring the possibility of growth, adaptation, and meaning in imperfect circumstances, and see in them another hurdle that I’m smart enough to overcome. 

People can grow to love what they once disliked — but only when the work becomes a vehicle for competence, autonomy, and meaning as long as it doesn’t violate their true nature. Try it, and you’ll love what you used to hate!