Dad stories

Last night I lucked out and, once more, got Jesus on Skype. The video picture was bad, Jesus told me it must have been my computer, but as always, I didn't quite believe him. The conversation went something like that:

Jesus: What are you up to Go11?
Go11: Just returned from New Orleans and, as always, glad to be back home.
Jesus: The “Big Easy” is always cool, I like it there, particularly the food; I'm also a big jazz fan. So what's on your mind today?
Go11: I was just wondering; what's been your relationship with your dad?
Jesus: Which one? Joseph or the Big Kahuna?
Go11: I meant the Palestinian, you know the woodworker; I wasn't thinking about the big boss; I actually had not thought at all about him. That for sure complicates the question...
Jesus: Not really; till I was about 25 years old, the “big boss” as you call him left me pretty much alone. Joseph wanted me to take over the family business, but I never like sawdust and splinters. I thought I was too smart for pounding nails, I guess...
Go 11: !
Jesus: But Dad, as I called Joseph was a real neat guy. He let me drive the donkey cart by myself when I was barely 9 years old and was cool about anything I'd do. Mom consistently was a real pain, but not Dad.
Go11: Then, what about the “big boss” then?
Jesus: He was a tough customer. He always asked me to go and make speeches, be controversial, make miracles, get in trouble. You know what all that led to... With him it wasn't fun; he would really lean on me and always get his way. It's not that I disliked him, but he was just unpleasant and tough.
Go11: What's your relationship with him these days?
Jesus: He pretty ignores me now. We get together for our regular business meetings and those aren't as productive as they used to be. We've cut down a lot on miracles and revelations. We don't recruit new prophets anymore and between you and me, we've long canceled the “second coming,” we just couldn't agree on certain details and on a time line that would make sense for us and would create the most spectacular impact possible. In the same vain, I personally never liked the idea of “rapture.” I thought it was corny to start with and would be too much work to implement.
Go11: So what's your current plan for the end of times?
Jesus: We don't really have one; for the time being we'll play it by hear and we also have asked the Holy Spirit to come up with some novel idea, provided of course it can think out of the box, for a change...
Go11: I was under the impression that the Holy Spirit was pretty smart?
Jesus: Don't get me started on that character and its alleged smart mind; let's keep that for another chat on Skype...
Go11: Okay Jesus, thanks for your time and your insights; I always enjoy them!