The mechanics of charisma (continued)

It’s true that if charisma were easy to to acquire, we should all become charismatic. This lead therefore to the question: “Is charisma innate or is it a learnable skill?” I would say that it appears to be innate to me, but some say that it’s a skill that can be acquired and refined through an attentive focus, which will lead to greater levels of influence. 

As we’ve seen yesterday, there are three types of behaviors that allow someone to increase their charismatic capabilities: 

• 1. Behaviors of Power 
•  2. Behaviors of Warmth 
•  3. Behaviors of Presence 

Behaviors of Power – We need to believe in our ability to affect our surroundings and not the other way around as is often the case when we’re negatively influenced by interactions we don’t like or appreciate. It’s important therefore to learn how to compartmentalize our internal lives and take a proactive mindset instead of a reactive one. 

Behaviors of Warmth – These include compassion, respect, and sincerity. They’re in fact just the opposite of pretense, deceit, or hypocrisy. This involves not just positive eye contact but also a warm demeanor. Then there’s a healthy dose of humility that helps in channeling warmth. We tend to find kinship with folks that quickly admit and learn from their mistakes instead of blaming others or trying to cover up their deficiencies. Our own ideals should become our moral compasses, not comparisons between us and others that always need to neurotic feelings and toxic behaviors that inhibit warmth. 

Behaviors of Presence – I’ve kept this one for last as it’s also the most important of the three traits and where people often see charisma in action. These include eye contact, confident posture, and positive overall demeanor. This will help provide a strong connection and create respect. A distracted presence demolishes that work of communication, so total focus is key. The rest, background noise and the like, should be ignored. 

Sure, we've all experienced how it feels to have someone watch our every move. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but these efforts will bring a positive influence to others and it will only grow from there. Next time, we’ll try to separate true charisma from manipulative one