Coming of age to be my very own (Part 1)

These days, after years of self-doubt, hesitations and uncertainty, I finally feel good and able to be my own man. Why is it such a big deal for me? Why is it so hard to truly become our own person? Well, it’s complicated as the challenge of being our true selves stems from a complex interplay of societal expectations, self-doubt, and fear of judgment. 

Here is a sample of the obstacles I had to navigate. First, there were all the societal pressures from my Catholic religion to my parents’ simple culture that drilled on me certain norms and expectations which didn’t go well with my ebullient little personality. Then, I was told to “please” as I was waiting on tables at the family restaurant or teaching skiing, that placed a brake on my development. 

Same thing when I was in school and had to change establishments, then get into the workforce, before becoming a “minority” of sort in America (limited command of the language, strong accent), there was the need even more than the desire to fit within with my peer group that often lead me to silence or subdue my authentic self or should I rather say my full self-confidence. 

At the same time and for the same reasons, I also didn’t want to be judged or criticized by others, and for that, I compromised more than once when I had to. There was also the fear of not meeting expectations first, from my parents, then some of my teachers and then my bosses, co-workers or employees that often lead to self-doubt, negative self-talk and a reluctance to take risks. 

Like for many of my peers, the fear of the unknown made me, at times, prefer the comfort of the familiar, even if it meant sacrificing my authenticity and prevented me from taking big chances and embracing change. As you can see, there were many hurdles along my way and tomorrow we’ll review how I dealt with all these obstacles… 

(To be continued...)