Befriending patience (Part 2)

Not so long ago, I realized that I needed to be much more patient and decided to make more room for that trait in my life. I needed the skill to improve my emotional well-being, the state of my relationships and my quality of life. 

Starting meditating regularly was the trigger that made me feel more present, calmer and less frustrated. At that point I had already realized and accepted that some things were out of my control and that I only could focus on what I could influence. Progressively, I also realized that my impatience often came from unrealistic expectations and it opened up my eyes to the fact that delays and challenges were opportunities that made me stronger. 

Prioritizing what truly mattered removed a large layer of stress. I began allowing myself more time for tasks to avoid feeling rushed and embraced a slower pace. I also became a better listener, became gentler in recognizing that others (and even myself) were doing their best. I also tried to remind myself that patience always led to better outcomes. 

In addition to meditating, working around my house and starting a veggie garden some twenty years ago was perhaps what taught me the most about patience. Starting this blog  at about the same time helped me put on paper what I sometimes had a hard time materializing in my thoughts. The observation of older adults more patient than me also impressed me enough to begin imitating their calmer demeanor. 

Other intense physical activities like cycling, running, hiking, walking and of course, skiing, all contributed to making more room for patience into my life. I used to feel “obligated” to please. I don’t anymore and as result I avoid over-committing and have developed the strength to say "no" to unnecessary stressors. 

Aging also helped me adjust my expectations based on my changing physical abilities and it also taught me to be less severe with myself, to accept that some tasks may take longer than they used to, and finally pursue quality over quantity or speed! 

Patience grows with practice. I suggest to start small, forgive setbacks, and appreciate the wisdom that comes with time. This said, I still have a very long way to go on the long road of patience. Yet, there isn’t a day that goes by without my budding patience being tested by frustration due to breakdowns, incidents, traffic or technological challenges. 

In the end, when I ask myself “Will this matter in a year?” it puts me in a much better place to recognize the finite nature of life and shift my priorities toward patience and gratitude.