The high cost of being shy (Part Two)

It’s when we begin observing our relationships and our social life that we see how the influence of shyness is most profound, often leading to "missed lives," like isolation and loneliness where shyness is causing social withdrawal or avoidance. This can lead to severe social isolation and deep feelings of loneliness, despite often having a strong desire to connect with others. 

One crucial element is that shy people take longer to form friendships and romantic attachments. Once in a relationship, shyness is often negatively associated with intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction. Shyness can make it difficult to communicate personal matters, assert needs, or engage in conflict resolution. 

It’s also pretty obvious that shy individuals are less likely to date, or if they don’t get married at all might do it much later, may settle for relationships that are far from what they wished, and are generally less secure in their romantic attachments due to fears of dependence or vulnerability. Then there is the deterioration of psychological well-being caused by shyness that creates internal turmoil that in turn can severely impact mental health. 

Shyness is characterized by anxiety, self-consciousness, and constant negative self-preoccupation where repeated avoidance of opportunities and the belief that others are constantly judging them poorly lead to even lower self-esteem and cratering self-confidence. 

Finally, while shyness is distinct from Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia), severe and untreated shyness is a recognized risk factor for developing more serious mental health issues, including social anxiety, depression, and other forms of generalized anxiety. Look at shyness acting like a vicious circle where the fear of negative judgment leads to avoidance, which prevents skill development, which confirms the negative self-image, reinforcing the shyness, and limiting opportunities across all major life domains. 

Tomorrow, I’ll conclude this series by seeing how the place and the nature of shyness seem to have evolved in recent years.