Is American friendship mostly transactional?

As far as I’m concerned, I count many more deep friends from Europe that I left 48 years ago, than I have managed to create in America, and I can’t help but think that it must be due to the fact that on the old continent, friendships develop and remain because of mutual and direct appreciation, than because of business or related interest that don’t stand the test of time and evolving personal relationships. 

In fact, many observers and studies seem to indicate that American friendships tend to be more compartmentalized and transactional than their European counterparts, often shaped by mobility, individualism, and professional networks. This perception (and reality as well) shows that Americans often distinguish between “work friends,” “gym friends,” “school friends,” and so forth, with each relationship tied to a specific context. 

This does limit the emotional depth and longevity of the friendship. Then, there’s the sheer size of the country that creates a high geographic mobility. People move for jobs, school, or lifestyle, disrupting long-term friendships and encouraging short-term, functional connections. 

Of course, there’s the individualism and self-reliance aspect of life, that American culture prizes so much and that goes again a lasting friendship that often feels uncomfortable and sometimes, burdensome. American professional and social spheres also encourage relationships built around mutual benefits, pushing friendships toward utility rather than emotional intimacy. 

On the other hand, most European cultures, and Latin societies in particular (like France) foster friendships rooted in shared history and locality. The fact that French are less geographically mobile means friendships often span decades, grounded in shared experiences and community. There’s also less pressure to “network” or maintain a social persona. 

Friendships are often built slowly, with fewer, but much deeper connections. In cultures like France and Italy, or even Germany, friendships often involve family, emotional support, and philosophical conversation instead of focusing solely on shared activities. This may change to and slip towards a form of Americanization. 

One could say that “In Europe, friendship is a slow-cooked stew that’s rich, layered, and holds into one stomach. In America, it’s often more like fast-food, satisfying, but fleeting.”