When the older kid turns 40

There are milestones that hit parents more than others, like the first day kids go to school, graduate from high school, or turn 40.

The latter just happened to us last week when our son reached the big “Four-O”. This is a big deal, because not only it ushers him into full adulthood with all the control, joys and responsibilities this entail, but it also pushes the parents back into a more “ancient” corner.

It makes us a little bit less relevant and definitely older. It not only re-frames the relationship making it less direct, less interventionist, but it almost flips the roles. The child becomes the actor and the parent, the spectator. Likewise, the child becomes teacher and the parent, student.

As the child takes full control, we're becoming more subservient, as our influence, our physical ability, and our relevance wane. Another stage in the Tour of Life, I guess.

Happy 40th Birthday, Thomas!