Responding to emotions (part three)

When we can easily identify our emotions and what triggers them, the next and final step is how to make the best out of them and respond accordingly. Like for many other stimuli, it always pays off to pause before reacting, especially when strong emotions arise, like anger or frustration. 

What I try to do is pause for a few seconds before speaking or acting. I take a deep breath. This small pause gives me some space for a conscious and more judicious response. Like for most anything else in life, we have options and can consider a variety of responses. So, instead of always having a knee-jerk reaction, I think: "Is there a different way I can respond to this feeling?" 

If I feel angry, sometimes it works best for me to express it calmly. At other times, I prefer to step away, go for a walk, or in winter go skiing and cool down. When I feel sad, I may decide to talk to someone, listen to music, or just allow myself to feel it without judgment. Better yet, when available I seek support, even if that looks difficult, from a trusted friend or a family member, as long as the individual is willing to simply listen without judgment or offer me some insights. 

Of course, adopting these behaviors never comes easy, as it is a lifelong skill that we must learn. Don't expect to master it overnight, get your feet wet and celebrate small successes. There's no "right" way to feel either. All emotions are part of our human experience, we just need to train ourselves to approach them with curiosity, like a scientist observing a phenomenon, rather than with judgment. 

Finally, I try to always focus on the present. While past experiences might inform current emotions, the practice that works best for me is paying attention to what happens in the moment. If we apply it well, our response to emotions almost gives us a way to seeing into corners. We can use at any age and it can be beneficial to all of us. 

If you decide to take the plunge, it will likely bring you a deeper understanding of yourself and a richer connection with the world around you. The more life experience we’ve accumulated, the more we’ll benefit from it in understanding ourselves by unlocking our feelings and reading what they mean and experiencing how they will help us!