Two Mormon missionaries…

Last weekend, two female Mormon missionaries rang our door. My wife opened and I joined the party, starting a conversation between us and these two young ladies. It was the second time in almost 40 years in Park City that we were visited by LDS missionaries. In that pair, one was from Eastern Washington State and the other one from Alaska. 

They said who they were and asked us if we were religious. I began by saying: “Absolutely!” and gesturing to the outside, I said “This is our Church, the great outdoors, nature with all its mysteries and unbound beauties…” 

I continued, “We don’t need organized religion and have no need for an afterlife. That’s too complicated, why would God go through the pain of inventorying people twice, keeping track of them, getting them entertained and organized. Besides, I get bored really fast in any sort of life, unless there’s unlimited, good skiing, tough terrain, powder face shots and huge vertical to roam everywhere. I couldn’t live eternally without great skiing.” 

I’d barely catch my breath and carry on “We also realized that before we were born we didn’t exist, we were nothing, and that upon our death we’ll cease existing and we totally are fine with that idea. Belief in afterlife is the expression of fear of dying. As President Franklin D. Roosevelt so aptly said, 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' and it too applies to death. Why would we have to go through one mediocre life on earth, just wishing or hoping we’d have a better one elsewhere with absolutely no guarantee about it. One time alive is largely sufficient.” 

I could see I was getting their interest high as they looked to me as sort of mesmerized. My wife was just afraid I’d go mean on the two innocent looking missionaries. I couldn’t stop:”Look, a guy like Trump that claims to be religious, behaves more like the Antichrist and still is supported by some big organized religions, isn’t that hypocrite and giving a black eye to good folks like you? I don’t know about you, but I believe we can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!” Both nodded and said, “True!” Relentlessly, I added: 

“On Monday, I have to write a check for my quarterly taxes and it breaks my heart to know that some of my monies will be used to kill innocent women and children in Gaza! Why in the world are organized religions in America not denouncing this genocide? I could go on and on, but just remember that one doesn’t need religion to be more moral than those who claim to believe in God. In our family, we’re not perfect, but we are as much, if not more moral, than many of those who spend their time in Church. Have a good day, young ladies, remember what I said and best of luck to you both!”