How to get even with others

Last night, as I was hearing that the recent Nairobi shopping center hostage taking by Al Shabaab was – once again - “revenge”, I thought that this ancient tool should be put aside for good.

Since revenge is a very arbitrary, imprecise and dangerous way to exert justice, why not rely more on a different set of methods for applying sanctions when the regular means of official justice are unpractical, take too long or are too costly. What I propose is casting a spell on other people that have affected us by invoking a higher authority like God, Allah, the Great Spirit, Nature, etc. I would take the form of prayer going about like this:

“Great Spirit, I want to let you you that ABC has been mean (good) to me and should be sanctioned justly for it. Please apply the punishment (reward) that you see fit and just. Don't delay it, put it into action as soon as possible and don't forge to signal that the suffering (pleasure) felt by ABC is in direct relation to the bad (good) deed he just did to me. Please apply this sanction under the law of Karma. Thank you and amen.”

That's it. I'm sure it works. This is far easy than getting into trouble by trying to render justice on one's one. It's quick, clean and simple. Oh yes, I almost forgot; I you were recipient of some good deed, make sure to thank your donor. If on the contrary you were a victim, ignore the perpetrator, just let power of your curse and the law of Karma work its magic...