A “passing” thought…

While death is a certainty, we just don’t know when and how it will happen. Precisely because of this, we don’t do much planning for that ultimate step in our own lives. So when that time comes, our survivors must make quick and often bad or expensive decisions, burdened with second-thoughts, doubts and guilt and it’s been that way since funerals have been invented and seared into our cultures. 

Here are a few things to keep in mind following a loved one’s death: To begin, we should keep in mind that death is not an emergency. When death occurs, the emergency is over: the worst thing that can happen has already occurred. To put it bluntly, the deceased person isn’t going to get any deader. Before proceeding with a traditional funeral, the first thing to do is call at least five different funeral homes within a 20- to 30-mile radius and get some price quotes. 

Take the time to study and compare the prices before deciding on a funeral home to come and remove the body if it’s outside of a hospital. Better options prevail if the person dies at a hospital, something more common. Ask the hospital if the body can stay in the morgue for a couple of days while you seriously shop around for a funeral home that will fit your budget or your ability to pay. Of course, it’s a good idea to know ahead of time what one’s can comfortably afford. 

Let's not get railroaded into considerations like: “Money is no object. It’s my mom, she deserves the best,” and soon find yourself straddled with a ruinous bill. By shopping around, it’s easy to find price differences in the thousands of dollars for exactly the same service. A large number of folks will say, “We just use our family’s funeral home”, but this makes no sense, as no one has a family car dealer, a family plumber or utility company. 

One must compare prices and services, but the problem is the nature of a death transaction we have no practice with. And because it’s a hugely emotional business transaction, many make the mistake of thinking of fitting funeral homes in the same emotional category as churches are. That’s not the case, a funeral home is a business, pure and simple. The key is to start by picking a funeral home that is priced reasonably. 

Once that choice is made, scrutinize their offerings and see how much will fit into the budget, avoiding “bundles” and shopping a la carte, instead. A low budget - say in the US $3,000 range - won’t buy a traditional funeral with embalming, public viewing of the body, deluxe casket and graveyard burial. This may mean a simple, no-frills cremation that some won’t like at all. 

Sure, a totally free exit is the ultimate ticket (pardon the pun), as there’s always the option of body donation to a medical school, delayed ashes delivery by a few months, but if one is able to wait, the price difference could fund a fabulous celebration of life party. After all, what ultimately counts is making great memories!