Managing feelings

I just ended reading an excellent book, "John & Paul: A Love Story in Song", by Ian Leslie. This book traces the complex, compulsive, tender, and tumultuous relationship of the two most famous Beatles, John and Paul, also marked by desire and jealousy. Like many men, they had difficulties in expressing directly their feeling, even though this measure was were often found in their songs. 

Beyond this book, which I encourage my male readers to discover, the importance of better managing our emotions jumped out at me. I already discussed the subject about a month ago, along with methods for achieving it. For beginners and most of us who have difficulty identifying them, there’s a method developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist, which simply involves taking the time to name our emotions. 

This will go a long way in calming us a bit and shed light on what we feel. When I first discussed this topic at the end of June, it was probably buried among a lot of other elements that did do it any justice. Today, if we just focus on identifying our emotions, things should go better. Let's start by getting into the habit of stopping once or twice a day and asking ourselves, "What am I feeling right now?" 

We can choose from basic emotions, such as joy, sadness, anger, anxiety, calmness, or boredom. Once identified, we can ask ourselves, "Why am I feeling this way?" As an answer, we can choose from physical sensations, recent events, or thoughts that might be related to them. We can then record these emotions in a journal or express them aloud, even in private. For example, "I feel this or that because..." 

This allows the emotions to be perceived and heard, even if only by ourselves. The next question is, “What did this emotion teach me?” Over time, patterns will emerge that will help us understand all the everyday events that can trigger these feelings. 

We could also try using the emotion wheel I mentioned a month ago, as it will help us better nuance our feelings, beyond basic definitions, like “disappointment” or “sadness” or “nervousness” or even “fear.” 

These simple step might be a much more effective entrance to gradually learning to manage our feelings…