Where have my dreams gone? (part one)

As we grow older our dreams and aspirations seem to dry up, and this often leaves us aimless, bored and dissatisfied. So I wonder if that’s an inevitable price we’ve got to pay as we grow old, that signals a shift in priorities and circumstances rather than a complete loss of ambition. 

It’s obvious that changing priorities, as we go through life, has a lot to do with that reality. Much of our adulthood is spent raising families, building careers, and ensuring financial stability. The "dreams" of youth might have been about achieving certain milestones that once achieved or significantly attained, extinguishing the dreams that fed them there’s nothing worthwhile ready to take their place.

As we become older, our priorities often shift towards stability, comfort, security, and enjoying free time, rather than the intense "grind" of chasing ambitious or risky, goals. The desire to avoid stress can outweigh the desire for grand new achievements. It’s also true that our dreams in youth were influenced by societal expectations, like getting a house, a good job, but as we gain life experience, we often discover that what truly fulfills us is quite different, and those old "dreams" no longer feel exciting to us. 

Then there’s the brutal reality that, with age, our physical capabilities decline. This can make certain dreams like paragliding, bungee jumping or climbing Everest less feasible, opening the door to a real sense of limitation. Likewise, chronic health issues or the fear of poor health can also dampen enthusiasm for future-oriented goals. Finally the loss of loved ones (spouses, friends, family) can lead to grief, social isolation, and a profound sense of loss of purpose, making a hopeful future senseless. 

We also should ignore society’s suggestions that after a certain age, especially retirement, it's time to "settle down" or wind down. To many of us, it can lead to believing that the time for dreaming big is irremediably gone. From a medical standpoint there’s also anhedonia – a decreased ability to experience pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable, or a lack of motivation to engage in them. This is not an inevitable part of aging but can be a symptom of depression, which is unfortunately under-diagnosed in older adults. 

Let me just conclude that long and depressing list that chasing dreams can be exhausting. Decades of working hard, having a family, and navigating life's challenges can lead to a general sense of being "tired of the grind," where there is no more energy left for new pursuits. Tomorrow we’ll try to find out if there are ways we can get our dreams out of hibernation?