Two National Holidays in ten days

From the 4th of July to Bastille Day there are just ten days and these two events account for my full ration of National Holidays for the entire year. So, here comes the question; am I more feeling American than French or vice-versa? Very hard to say; I’ll always feel a little of both, but as I’ve said before, I feel more like a Citizen of the World than simply just a French or an American. Like many folks, I also feel a lot of regional attachment for the places I’ve experienced and liked in my life; it’s a mixture of sentimentality and personal taste. The mountains are my playground, so I can relate much more to mountain people than seashore dwellers. I love Park City and am keenly interested in what goes on in the Morzine Valley too, but I always stay open and as long as the place I live in is located in a great spot, somewhere on the blue planet, I’ll be quite content…

An afternoon at the wine festival

Yesterday, our friends Marianne and Frank Traczyk graciously invited us to join them for the last afternoon of the “Park City Food & Wine Classic” an epicurean extravaganza, as the event is billed to be. Featuring the finest in food, wine, and entertainment during this three-day event, the event consists essentially of wine tasting and pairings, gourmet dinners, educational seminars and culinary competitions. This is a rare opportunity to meet owners, winemakers and senior representatives from wineries located primarily in California but also from Australia, Argentina or even Italy. The final event took place at the nearby Canyons ski resort, we went there by bus, and from 3 to 5 pm we “tasted” lots of wines and nibbled into some very fine food. After two hours of "oral testing," Evelyne and I had exceeded our attention span for the entire week and did our very best to ride the bus home. Marianne and Frank, much more dedicated than us, showed up at our place one hour later when the festivities had come to a screeching halt. We shared a delicious dinner and lots of laughter, had a long and lively conversation trying - once more - to reconstruct the entire world, and went to bed by 10 pm, totally worn out and ready to slip into a deep slumber…

How to prepare for jobs?

It seems to me that good planning, education and training are the best way to prepare our workforce. Good planning is important, since our economic model is changing all the time and what used to be a good job in 1990 may offer little future today. We must know better what are future needs are; namely, how many car mechanics, electricians, doctors, accountants, will be needed at specific points in the future. So it would seem that a system that can anticipate the shift and the foreseeable needs in work force has to work hand in hand with our school and higher education systems. The problem inherent with these institutions however is that they don’t seem to be nimble and adaptable enough to keep up with the swift changes that are underpinning our modern economy and with that situation, a lot of opportunities may me missed by job-seekers and employers alike. So what should be done? Probably change our paradigm that education is somehow a stable and well defined institution when it should in fact be as fluid and adaptable as the internet or our modern international markets, in “real time.” This clearly calls for training that’s on a fast track, modular and can quickly shift towards new needs, new technologies, new ideas and changing opportunities. Are we ready for such a new system? Probably not yet, we are still far from that situation, as our educational institutions and infrastructures have too much inertia and are not equipped to respond fast enough to an ever-changing and accelerating employment landscape.

Handling negative folks

Someone asked me the other day how I deal with negative people; my first response was, ”I simply avoid them.” Of course, this is not realistic as most of these folks are often family, friend or colleagues, and there is little one can do to avoid them altogether; seeing them less frequently remains a valid option however. So, with this in mind, here are my “instructions for use” that I try to apply when I come in contact with these fascinating individuals.

1. Stop being yourself
There’s no way you can be transparent or totally open and spontaneous with these people. You know that in their presence you often are demeaned, constricted or attacked; as a result you intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard. Further, why not look at the entire situation as a “game” and have fun with it! For instance, create an “out-of-body experience” and witness what goes on around you as if you were “floating” out of yourself and hovering around the entire scene; this may sound silly, but if you can do it, it’s amazing how much of a difference it will make. You'll feel that negativity can’t touch you as you now are on a different plane and fully untouchable.

2. Don’t react to the provocation
Easier said than done, but that's precisely what angry or negative individual won't expect! Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Try to stay completely detached and don’t jump in. If the attack is really nasty, leave the room if you can. Now, instead of reacting, take a moment, count to ten if you must, step back mentally and create some space between you and that negative attack. Just smile; the antagonistic individual is simply seeking a reaction from you. Most importantly, remain an outsider by keeping in mind that you haven’t created or caused the problem and it is not your fault. Don’t start feeling that you have to solve the problems of the “energy-drainer” as you’re not responsible for that person’s life or negativity.

3. Listen attentively to what is said
Get the emotion out of your mind, and focus at what is said in a cold, clinical manner. Listen intensely to understand the issue and see where the angry person is coming from. Often, in or behind the words, there's a clue as to what's really bothering negative folks. Listen for it carefully with all your senses as this might help you in formulating an appropriate response.

4. Respond very carefully
Start by acknowledging what you’ve heard; for instance: "I can see that you're not happy about this” or “that is an interesting opinion.” Then ask a clarifying question that could be: “What do you really mean by that” or "Tell me a bit more about your opinion on the matter?" Depending on the situation, and if the comment was somewhat complicated or very negative, repeat back what the person said; it could for example be: : "If I understand you correctly, you are concerned that _______. (Here, try to use some of the exact words used initially by the other person.) At this point you may also expand upon what has been said: "Based on what you told me, this would mean _____. Is that correct?" Ending with a question generally shows the other person that you're open to their concerns.

5. Legitimize and offer to explore solutions
This doesn’t mean that you agree with the negative person; for example, "I can certainly understand why you feel this way." Then shine some positive light by offering to explore solutions; this could be: "Would it be helpful for to you to consider what can be done to resolve this?" Of course, a negative response alerts you to the fact that the person really doesn't want to resolve anything! Notice that you didn't say "we" as this is precisely that person’s problem, not yours.

6. Establish and enforce your boundaries
When you've asked a fair question, you're entitled to a reasonable and courteous reply. If necessary, point out that your question was prompted by this person’s concern. Sometimes, you can ask: "What can I do to help?" Surprisingly, that might trigger a realization in the other person that it really isn't your responsibility to solve the problem. Occasionally, you'll encounter someone who just won't let go. They'll return to the same subject and start all over, or they'll throw a nasty, off the mark, accusation. The fact is, you've listened, acknowledged, explored, legitimized and offered, and that’s still not good enough. It’s time to say this: "I believe I understand your concern, and I've offered to help you reach a solution. What more do you want?" If the person becomes verbally abusive, you can simply say: "I'm sorry. I don't believe that I can help you any further, and I don't appreciate your tone. If you're going to speak to me in that manner, I'm afraid you'll have to work it out for yourself. I don't appreciate abuse."

7. Don’t be afraid to say “No”
Manipulative, open-ended questions are also a way to get you on the spot and force you to abdicate by saying “yes” because you’re a “nice person.” Don’t fall into that trap and if you feel that the answer should be no, say it. Further, you don’t have to explain why you’ve chosen to answer by the negative. This is your choice and your prerogative…

Now, good luck!

Menial job

When I was a kid and didn’t work well in school, my mom always predicted that I would end up working for the road maintenance department, at the last rung of the ladder with a “shovel and a pair of rubber boots,” doing menial tasks. I didn’t care much about the threat, because at least, I’d be outdoors and would be tanned all year round. Destiny took me into a slightly different path, but today, as a way to confirm my mother’s oracle, I spread asphalt sealer on my driveway (something I’m supposed to do every couple of years) and boy, what a hard work that was! Now, I think I’m going to be a good student; finally!

Daring to stare at reality

Sometime reality isn’t really something we want to look at, especially when we believe it could be very unpleasant. I guess, a preference for ignorance is something that can be traced back into early childhood and this always has been a fascinating phenomenon for me. Unpleasant matters are never attractive and as long as we can postpone that closer look at them, we can pretend that they don’t exist – yet. This is a perfect example of denial. It seems that uncovering realities that we know aren’t good takes such a Herculean effort that keeping on ignoring them might totally erase them, or at the very least, make them look a tiny bit better by the time they finally appear. In spite of all these inner battles, discovery has its benefits; it get us out of the dream state, makes us deal with what really exists, experience a salutary blast of pain, turn a new page and help us grow, but this takes so much courage and energy...

The art of trigger-pulling

There are a variety of decisions that we’re called to make all the time; some are very easy and some can be quite challenging, and almost feel impossible. Logically, good information helps make good decisions, but what are we to do when information is sketchy, when there are no reliable facts available or when that gut-wrenching decision must be made on a best-guess, intuition or toss of a coin basis? In these later circumstances, “pulling the trigger” is not just a simple “cowboy feat,” it’s something really hard, but that has to be done as it breaks up the deadlock and brings a strong feeling of relief. It may not be perfect – in fact, it seldom is – but it’s been done and this move makes all the difference between indecisiveness and progress. It just takes as much information as can be possibly gathered within a reasonable and practical timeframe, and that’s it! No turning back and no second-guessing anymore…