Why is it so hard to manage emotions?

It’s true that for people of my generation we were just taught about subjects like math, science, history, and language, but not much about emotional management that wasn’t even in the radar of our parents and educators as it was a skill that everyone hoped, would be learned through experience. 

Teachers, and parents were never told, yet alone taught about it and had no clue what emotional intelligence was. Unfortunately, hoping that experience will make up for that lack of education is more often than not more of a bridge than a reality as there are no fail-safe recipe to catch up and try to manage emotions, as the best approach depends on each individual and their situation. 

What follows are a few things I’m in the process of learning. 

Several strategies are required to get there, like knowing oneself, or self -awareness, that makes an individual more in touch with their emotions. It also demands to pay good attention to one’s physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors when they’re popping to the surface. The next step is to identify what causes them. 

Things like, certain situations, people, or thoughts that typically lead to these emotions? Knowing what triggers them is key to anticipating and preparing for them. When we become aware of that, it’s time to develop healthy ways to cope with emotions. This can include exercise, relaxation techniques, going for a hike in nature, talking to a friend or for me during winter, going skiing. 

That’s also the moment to control negative thoughts. Are they true? Are there other ways to look at the situation? Finally and often, the best way to manage certain emotions is simply to accept them. Trying to fight or suppress them can, at times, make them worse. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without letting them control you. 

Remember also to build resilience. It helps you bounce back from setbacks and cope with difficult emotions more effectively. Remain optimist, use a healthy support system, and take good care of yourself, physically and mentally.