Erasing resentment from our crowded minds generally works pretty well because several mechanisms seem to be involved. The first is that we finally stop fighting reality. Typically, a painful event occurred. It shouldn’t have, but it did.
Next, it’s easy to see that as long as our emotional state depends on someone else's apology, punishment, or transformation, part of our well-being remains in their hands. By releasing resentment, we reclaim ownership of our inner life.
That’s precisely when the message becomes: "What happened was wrong, but I refuse to let it poison my present." At this point, our stress physiology settles down as anger, and grievance activate threat-related systems in the body. The result of repeatedly replaying injuries can maintain elevated stress responses, muscle tension, vigilance, and emotional reactivity.
When the grievance loses its emotional grip, the body often relaxes as well. At that moment, attention becomes available again. We all know that attention is a limited resource that will finally be able to return to us as extra energy.
This additional source of energy can be redirected toward our relationships, creativity, helping others, learning, spiritual endeavors and just enjoying life. In essence, forgiveness is not giving something to the offender but it’s recovering something for us!
Tomorrow we’ll see what kind of benefits will come to us…
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