Bush, Albania's new King?

When George Bush retires in January 2009, instead of building his presidential library or hitting the lecture circuit, he should instead put his stellar leadership to good use and start running Albania. There’s no other place in the world where his popularity is so high. Besides, Albania’s current president, Alfred Moisiu seems like a reasonable man who would be delighted to trade his post for GW’s ranch in Crawford, Texas, including the use of all his toys like the big truck and the chain saw to name a few. Mr. Bush could then hand Sali Berisha’s prime minister job to Dick Cheney who in turn could get some lucrative state contracts for Halliburton; he would also be named minister of hunting and wildlife. Berisha would be sent to Jackson Hole where he could hunt the elk and in winter snowmobile around Yellowstone. Even Paul Wolfowitz could bring his girlfriend back; together they’d be great at siphoning badly needed funds from the World Bank. Rumsfeld would also return and be put in charge of border security, and since he's a consummate salesman, he would be charged with increasing drug and human trafficking to Italy and Greece in an effort to boost Albania’s GDP. Condi Rice and Laura Bush would both teach home economics in Tirana, while Alberto Gonzales, if he’s lucky, might be hired part-time to sell used Volgas and Trabants at a local dealership. Sure, our current president would have to adapt some and learn tosk, the local language, but the good news is that he would find it relatively easy; as an example “nuclear” is “nookulaare” in the tosk dialect. Same for religion; Mr. Bush would retain his staunch faith, but would probably evolve into an “evangelical Muslim” to be in synch with the majority of the populace. Of course, since the Iraq war is very popular with all Albanians, the new Bush team could send half of the Albanian army (that’s about 300,000 troop) to maintain an extended surge, without deadlines, and surely win the war on terror and turn Iraq into an extremely democratic country. So what are you waiting for Mr. President? Why don’t you become king of Albania now while your prospects are perfect and use that job to build the lasting legacy you need?