The political sides of skiing

Even though I learned the rudiments of snowboarding, I don't enjoy it that much and while I can ride my monoski - some call it monoboard - pretty well, I haven't used it for quite sometime. Why is it? I have absolutely nothing against people on single boards, I marvel at the cool, elongated tracks certain leave in powder, but I don't envy them. For one thing, I am of the opinion that only having one set of edges in contact with the snow is clearly limiting and isn't as nearly fun as having two dueling skis wanting to do things on their own. To me that's what is keeping life on snow interesting.

That's right, I feel that riding the snow on one single board is far too predictable and lacks the adrenaline rush I get on two. It's far too boring for me; I have to stay awake! I would add that the spirit of contradiction that prevails between my boards is never the same; in fact, it evolves over the years. For instance, when I began skiing, my skis were converging most of the time, “making the piece of pie” as instructors would say. It didn't mean they agreed, they simply wanted to be close and appeared to enjoy starring at each other.

Today they still do it at times, but more rarely. Most of the time, they tend to diverge; like some old married couples, they want their own “space” and must be getting tired of so many years of togetherness. Worse, there are times when they can't seem to get along, aren't able to hold a straight line and one only carves because the other does. Harmonious team work might not be part of their value system. To sum it all up, they appear to be constantly crossed at each other. I wonder why? Rarely do they align their thoughts and pull forward into the same direction. Going straight is anathema to them even thought they often go schuss, but they do it because I like to ski fast and when they do, they can ignore each other.

This is why I am sometime tempted to call my left ski a democrat and my right one a republican, but I know better than that; I respectively call them liberal and conservative. Since, I'm naturally a “south paw” or a lefty, you might draw some premature conclusions. In case you'd still wonder however, the guy on top has to play the role of an arbiter and can't be anything but a true independent for the whole enterprise to work. This is why one single board, like a snowboard or a monoski reminds me of some totalitarian, single-party system in which dissent has no place. Yet, with all this pushing and pulling between my pair of skis, I can make bipartisanship work. I have been skiing for more than five decades and so far, my two skis have always managed to compromise and see fir and aspen trees from the same side. I just hope they'll continue...