Why Bush doesn’t need secret service protection?

Very easy; simply because of Dick Cheney; our neighbor from Jackson Hole is George Bush’s best security. If something very bad were to happen to our President, Mr. Cheney would step in and become our commander-in-chief, and I can guaranty you that no breathing mammal, friend or foe, that has a normally functioning brain would want that nightmare to become a reality. So from today on, and until the end of his term, Mr. Bush could save us lots of dollars by doing without the expensive secret service protection and still enjoy a maximum level of security. Now, if you're looking for beefed-up personal security, and are considering getting a pit-bull, a rottweiler, a Kalashnikov, or just some pepper spray, you might want to ask President Bush to let you use Mr. Cheney when he's done with him; but hurry, a waiting list is already forming!