From Russia with love…

I’ve always dreamed of flying in a “Fulcrum” MiG-29 and that day has finally come! This was last week and I won’t tell you how much my wallet has bled from the fantasy, nor how I’ve exceeded my carbon footprint allocation for the year, but once more I must have muttered “what the heck!” I had planned for a very long time that half-an-hour flight that included breaking the sound barrier (no, I’d never flown the Concorde,) special maneuvers like tail-slide, Pugachev’s cobra, roll, immelman, loop and what they call split-S. Plus a lot of climbing and diving at full throttle as well as high velocity turns and tons of Gs in the process. I flew from Salt Lake to Paris, then to Moscow, and finally we drove to Zhukovsky Airbase with my accompanying interpreter. After a hearty breakfast at the base and the routine security clearance, pre-flight medical check, briefing and getting outfitted in the helmet, G-suit and communication equipment, I looked up at the bird that seemed in pretty good shape and managed to climb up into the tight seat that was adjusted to my size by Igor, the flight squadron chief engineer. Dimka Sidorov was my pilot; he didn’t speak much English if at all, and from the explosive take-off through all the time we managed to stay up in the air, I prayed to God that I’d understand him if he ever screamed “Eject!” I didn’t puke my morning meal, stayed brave and kept my big eyes scared-open the whole ride, that I regrettably found a bit too short when the plane touched down. It couldn’t have been thirty minute…