The new Two-State solution

As Trump turns Old Gaza into a beach resort, generous as we know him to be, he’ll be eager welcome its 2 million inhabitants and let them settle in brand-new residences on the East Coast of Florida, just opposite to his Mar-a-Lago estate. 

That way, he could create New Gaza, a fully independent nation that would bring even more diversity to the Sunshine State, add to the excitement and create a compelling reason for the media to talk incessantly about its famous Mar-a-Lago neighbor.

Of course, eminent domain would trade, not confiscate, the roughly 141 square miles needed to fit the new settlement in, with an equal number of acres out of the 15 % of land owned by the State of Florida, so the current inhabitants of Gaza could return to brand new homes on a prized seaside location. 

An even more generous Trump could double the landmass to 300 square miles, but I might be getting ahead of myself… The people living in Palm Beach and those living nearby would then be relocated to nice, new residences in various areas of the State. 

Does this make sense to you ? It certainly does to me!

A Trumpian dream?

During his 2024 campaign, Donald Trump promised to lower grocery prices. He emphasized this frequently, saying that he’d bring down the cost of groceries like eggs, bacon, and apples, which had increased a lot under Biden. 

However, despite his promises, grocery prices have continued to rise and eggs are still creeping up with no end in sight! This is probably what prompted my dream last night when I saw Trump addressing a large group of hens inside a chicken coop and asking them to triple their daily egg production in order to bring enough supply of their protein-rich products, so it could drop down their stratospheric cost. 

As his head was, as usual, leaning over his lectern in his soft loving side, in front of already good productive hens, I was expecting him to be nice and to charm all of the birds assembled in front of him into laying many more eggs. 

 

Instead he said: “If you can’t triple your daily production I’ll have no choice but asking Vance (his VP) and Kennedy (his Health guy) to come and twist all your necks, and by doing so, teach you a memorable lesson in capitalistic productivity!” 

As I woke up, it was no longer a dream, but a scary nightmare with the same old terror-inducing, threatening tactics!

The “HumDog” implants

Artificial Intelligence (AI) has been much maligned lately, but I can’t prevent myself from thinking of all the good things that are being concocted in many a scientific lab, and since we live in Park City in a world dominated by dogs and their masters who venerate them like Indian adore their cows, I had a revelation about an invention that could be a game changer. 

To be concise, it would consist of a communication tool between canine and human appropriately called HumDog as in “human” and “dog”, that would consist of two modules implanted into the brain or the animal and that of the person and could communicate together, if not in a coherent and known language, but at the very least interact through electronic neurological impulses, in which a command from the master or a request from the pooch would translate into a conversation in which there would never be any misunderstanding.

From the training of the animal to everyday life, the owner would only have to think “sit”, “stand” or “heel” and the dog would execute. He could also ask questions, like “Molly, are you ready for a car ride?”. Likewise, the animal could also tell his master if he feels unwell, want to go for a walk, a pee or a poo. 

At the end of the pet’s life, the owner would keep the transceiver in their brain, just get a new one for the new doc… What a concept, talk about a true revolution and full clarity in communication between animals and humans!

A short conversation with Trump

We don't typically frequent fancy restaurants in town, but on this occasion, we had a $50 coupon to use at the Glitretind restaurant in Deer Valley Resort. While we were still enjoying our meal, I had to briefly step out to grab something from the car. 

As I headed outside, I noticed a big guy, clad in a long, thick wool coat, sitting on the deck, deep in thought. I asked if he was alright, and he launched into a lengthy rant about some event he had attended earlier, exclaiming, "These darn Mormons don't know what they want, and they can't seem to support me!" 

Upon closer inspection, I couldn't help but notice his familiar appearance. I inquired, "Excuse me, sir, by any chance are you a Donald Trump impersonator?" He interrupted, "No, I'm the real Donald J. Trump!" I chuckled and replied, "Come on, you've got to be kidding me." "No, I'm dead serious. I'm currently campaigning for a third term to kick Biden out of the office he stole from me," he confidently declared. 

I shook my head and said, "Well, good luck with that. But just so you know, you might find yourself behind bars before you step foot in the Oval Office again." He scoffed, "Ah, another pathetic, woke, liberal, communist brainwashed by the leftist media!" 

I retorted, "Not at all, Donny. I gather my news from reputable, non-partisan sources. And don't think you can insult me like you do with those who fear your wrath. Watch your language, or I might give you a swift kick in the rear, straight down to the valley!" Detecting a hint of a French accent, he questioned, "I sense a French accent in you. Why don't you go back to your sorry country and be one less frog for me to stomp on?" 

I rolled my eyes and shot back, "Dude, if you had even an ounce of education, you'd remember Lafayette. But your arrogant and bellicose attitude reminds me of Adolf Hitler. He must be your hero, right? Although, I must say, the Führer was a tad more cunning than you and actually put in some hard work!" He dismissively replied, "I don't understand a word of the nonsense spewing from your sorry face, man!" 

I smirked and said, “Well, this is precisely your biggest problem, Instead of teaching you how to lie, your father should have told you that you'd catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? If you had applied this simple rule, you would have grown your base big time, and possibly defeated Biden in 2020. Today, you might have already toppled our democracy and its institutions, but you are too stubborn to listen to smart people, you prefer to hear what Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani keep telling you! 

Waving me off his sight, he grumbled, “You’re a total disgrace, get out of here!” As I walked to my car, I put and end to the conversation by saying, “No worries, Dude, just enjoy the witch hunt on your way to jail!”

Jesus meets Jean-Claude Killy

The scene happened a few days ago, in Cologny, an affluent suburb of Geneva, Switzerland 

The famous skier Jean-Claude Killy was out doing some shopping when he was accosted by a middle-eastern young man who tapped him on the shoulder, saying: “Do you recognize me?” Surprised, Killy went: “Not really, but I may have met you somewhere…” The man introduced himself: “I’m Jesus”. 

Even more stunned, Killy just replied: “Wow! The one from Nazareth”? “You got it.” said the smiling interloper. Somehow and pretty rapidly the two sat down at a nearby café and began an animated discussion. 

Jesus: “What have you been up to Jean-Claude?” 

Killy: “Not much, I’m retired now and I’ve been deflecting the tons of criticism I received as a result of my friendship with Putin.” 

Jesus: “That’s understandable, the man is such a creep!” 

Killy: “Not really, if you make an effort to listen to what he has to say…” 

Jesus: “The majority of people have fascinating tales to share, but they’re not always true, Jean-Claude!” 

Killy: “Are you suggesting I’m just another gullible guy unable to think critically?” 

Jesus: “That’s possible, and this makes you stand-out like an oddity, when every reasonable person who has observed Putin’s maneuvers thinks the man is a war criminal. How can you square that?” 

Killy: “Among a majority of people that mindlessly follow trends and fashionable opinions, I’ve remained an extremely loyal person and my sense of judgment has almost never or seldom failed me. Unlike many others, I take pride in my track-record…” 

Jesus: “Do I see that there has been special consideration on the part of Putin that could have mollified your judgment towards him?” 

Killy: “What are you suggesting? I act ethically, period. Before anything, he’s my friend and I think he’s right.” 

Jesus: “Have any of your friends told you that friendship was woefully misplaced?” 

Killy: “Yes, many have attempted to change my mind, even mocked me, there’s even a French guy who lives in America who sent me a letter asking to intervene with Putin to stop the invasion of Ukraine…” 

Jesus: “What did you do, then?” 

Killy: “I remained undeterred.” 

Jesus: “Well, I’m not getting much traction with you Jean-Claude, so I’m going back to heaven!” 

Killy: “Hope to see you there…” 

Jesus: “We'll see..”

Next, plugged-in people!

Yesterday, as we were walking on the multi-users trail we were passed by a bunch of riders on e-bikes and my wife asked me “Do they have to recharge their electric bikes after each use?” 

I kind of responded, tongue and cheek: “Yeah, they do, just like they do with their mobile phones, smart watches and other electronics, and soon they might have to do it for themselves when technology finds a way to recharge us all!” But in fact, why not? 

When we are tired, on our knees, or just getting older, wouldn’t it be great to get a jolt of current to recharge or regenerate our failing bodies and dwindling strengths to get us going for more and even more? 

As we evolved as a species and lost our tail, we could recover that appendage under the form of an electrical plug that we’d carry around, and when needed, enable us to receive a needed charge to erase that lost energy and replace it by some extra to help us reach that proverbial extra mile. 

It could very well be that the new “fountain of youth” might be found in lithium batteries, a regenerated tail as a plug-in cord and ubiquitous human charging stations just like we now see them all around for electric cars!

A message from Park City Mountain

Today, I received a special message from our local ski area that, as you may know, is owned by Vail Resorts. I’ve regularly been a vocal critic of its way of operating and was delighted to hear that after several years and a very rocky winter season (pun intended), the resort operator had finally its “come to Jesus moment”. 

Here's what the message said: 

“Dear Go11, 

As the ski season is coming to an end, we have finally taken the time to review your complaints and decided to do something about them. You had mentioned us not cutting whippers and aspen growths all over your preferred terrain, complained about our slow, fixed-grip chairlifts, our inability to spend more than $15 per hour to staff our mountains, the poor choice we’ve made in upgrading Silverlode to an 8-passenger lift and Eagle to a 6-pack. 

We also heard your criticisms about us playing chicken with the weather and not making enough snow, not grooming runs that ought to be smooth and not bumpy or rocky, and finally for selling too many Epic passes and flooding your mountain with countless skiers and snowboarders. 

Well, we’ve finally understood what you meant through your French-accented remarks, understood your many points and we take the following steps: 

We’ll begin by setting up a whipper and fallen-trees suppressing patrol that will get to work as soon as the snow is all melted. It will shave all that undesired growth and remove the fallen trees wherever you might want to ski. 

You already know that we’ve decided to hike our hiring rate to $20 per hour and since we take your pass money in advance, we’ll pay even more if we have to. We will upgrade those fixed-grip chairs upon which we used to “park” skiers for hours on end, making them all express lifts. 

We’ll move the base of Motherlode further down into the drainage, make it a 6-pack, and extend its top station to the edge of Puma ridge, then cut a run from the now congested Miner Camp / Silverlode area, so skiers can overflow from there to Motherlode. 

Further Motherlode will enable skiers to access Puma ridge, Thaynes and offer a decent access to Jupiter and to its west face. The old Motherlode express-quad will replace the slow Eagle lift. We’ll make snow as early, as thick and as late as we need to, and will no longer pepper our groomed runs with pesky little rocks. 

As for the number of pass we sell, we still have no idea how congested your ski area will be, but crowds might shrink as folks must go back to work, and we promise to send the excess visitors to Andermatt-Sedrun that we just acquired in Switzerland; we’re confident that the local there will be so excited that we’ll never see these Epic pass-holders again!” 

After reading that, I had never been so happy in my life. Wow! You see, I don’t need much to get all excited!

The Electric Dog

It’s hard to stop progress and after electric cars, bikes and lawn-mowers, it’s now time to expand the “electric-thing” to address other lifestyle situations that need to be solved and should be next in the relentless race for continued improvements. 

As any good, opportunistic inventor, I’m thinking of turning a nagging problem into a welcome solution through massive innovation. 

For too long, dogs have been – in my opinion – a plague upon the daily life of many Parkites - the name given to folks living in Park City. Some dog owners don’t leash their animals as they should, some (my next door neighbor) let roam theirs free all around, the more adventurous ride their bikes with their dogs leashed and running to keep up with the bicycle. 

In addition, many old ladies are sticking their micro-dogs on their laps while driving, others still not picking up poop after their pooch, and others openly say that we’re sub-humans for not owning a dog that sheds its hair all over the house, smells and tracks mud when it returns home from having been outside. Worst of all, “dogs that have never, ever bitten anyone” one day or another end up biting someone when the circumstances are right, even though the victim is totally innocen. Have I mentioned ticks? 

To address these problems, I couldn’t thing of anything better than the electric dog (ED). No more emissions (read dog poop), no more barking at night or anytime at all when that behavior is unwanted, no more shedding hair with their 100% synthetic fur, and no more wild roaming. 

Let me explain, my dog would be a demilitarized version of the robot-dog used at Tyndall Air Force Base, for security and surveillance of the base located 12 miles east of Panama City, Florida (see video). 

The regualar ED would never bite anyone and might result in a reduction of one’s homeowner’s insurance premium. Typically, the ED, could be used, as a husky, to draw a sled, as a substitute for a horse in backyard skijoring, or even as an adjunct mode of propulsion for non motorized biking, mountain-biking, as well as skateboarding. 

The ED would be of the “plug and play” type and could be fully recharged overnight for a complete day of gratifying and worry-free dog ownership. Tax credit? Good question, I have not yet thought about that one... 

New snow to die for

Yesterday during our morning walk, we noticed some fresh snowboarding tracks at the Park City cemetery and were rightfully intrigued by them.

I also noticed that they all led to the same, modest, flat grave marker under the name of a certain Anna. I got closer, and using my secret but never disclosed talent of conversing with the dead, I stroke a conversation with the deceased that dwelt there.

After introducing myself, I asked: “Who are you” “Anna,” she responded, “What’s up with you?”

I went: “I couldn’t help but notice the nice tracks someone made next to your marker. They look cool.”

She said: “It’s me yesterday, just after it had snowed. I simply couldn’t resist!”

Impressed, I blurted out: “Gee, you’re good! Do you often ride like that?”

She admitted: “Not often as I should, plus I tire really fast and it’s a real pain to get the board in and out of the grave, but when you like to ride, I guess nothing stops you!”

Since I needed to move on, I tried to conclude: “So, no riding today, right?”

She perfectly addressed my concern by saying: “You know, I’d rather not come out during daylight, I don’t look that pretty anymore!”

My other imaginary ski resort (continued…)

I have always been amazed by the huge, south-facing snowfield overlooking the lake of Montriond and located between Nantaux (elev. 7119’ - 2 170 meters) and Entre-deux-Pertuis (elev. 7041’ - 2146 m) peaks.

The snow cover, in spite of its sun exposure has always been good from around 6,000’ (1825 m) where the village of Edenia would have been located. The place would have been car-free and received unlimited UVs on a sunny day. 

Usable vertical might have been no more than 1,000 (305 m) on that sunny side, but could have extended down to 2,000’ (600 m) on the other side of the ridge, facing the village of Abondance.

A funicular would have given access to visitors from the lake of Montriond and skiers would have gained access to the Portes du Soleil to the east, via Châtel and les Lindarets.

Since I wasn’t there to develop it, it’s quite unfortunate that this huge expanse of snow is today of little use to passionate skiers, but again, isn’t there already too many lifts crisscrossing that beautiful Alpine region of mine ?

My downhill course creation

When I was around 20 years old, and long before there would be lifts in the high valley that saw me grow up, I had imagined a few versions of my own, ideal ski resort.

Today, we’ll talk about “Vorlaz”, a small resort, located at the bottom of the Lindarets valley and in which I was envisioning a pretty steep, fast and exhilarating downhill course.

While the FIS allows for a minimum vertical drop of 450 meters, World Cup races have to have at least 800 meters, but 750 meters could do in “exceptional cases”.

From that standpoint, mine would have considered “exceptional”. We’d start the race 20 meters below the top of Vorlaz peak (2 326 meters) and the finish would be on the flat area, where the pastoral hamlet of Brochaux is located (1 576 meters). This would have made it “exceptional” enough to qualify within the 750 meters minimum required.

In addition to having climbed the peak many times in summer and skied the mountain several times, I garnered a pretty good idea on how to set the course that would be both intuitive and hugging the natural terrain that would have required almost no drastic changes, and certainly no need for Bernhard Russi’s services. .

It would have been fast and hair-raising, the Frenchman Johan Clarey would have established a blistering record, but well, it didn’t happen and won’t since the access lift is still missing and I now live in America!

(to be continued...)

A German fly on the wall...

I am a German fly and I was on the wall when Putin met with Trump.

At first, Trump asked Tillerson and Lavrov to walk over to the large bay window and watch the demonstration while they had a more intimate conversation...

Trump: “As I said it's an honor to meet with you Vlad. I just wanted to thank you again for getting me elected...”

Putin: “Don't mention it; simple professional courtesy between tyrants.”

Trump: “Sure, but your FSB guys did a terrific hacking job”

Putin: “Right, I trained them well when I was at the KGB, but let's talk TV for now. Do you still want me to transform your CNN into RT?”

Trump: “Yeah, that'd be so good if we could turn this already fake media into a 'real' fake one...”

More fit than my father was?

I often wonder, what would have happened if I had gone skiing with my Dad when he was the age I am today, assuming that he could ski – he couldn't really – and where we would have skied together...

I would have taken a day off instructing, the day was beautiful in this late part of April, the snow still good in the morning. If that were remotely possible, I would have taken him to Avoriaz, the place I skied in France, we would have taken the tram (it would have been back in the spring of 1971) and we would have taken two or three run up on Arare, at the very top and then had a “steak-frites” lunch at the Pas-du-Lac, the only major mid-mountain restaurant back in these days.

He would have told me how the current equipment was so good and made skiing so fast and easy. He would have been mostly impressed how I skied and how effortless I made the whole thing look, but would have kept these thoughts to himself. We would have probably debated how wise it would have been to ski down to Les Prodains, decided against it and downloaded on the tram.

My father would have been tired and would have not wanted to take a chance. His whole body had aged much faster than mine because of all the hard work he had to perform all life long, the diet he had and the very little care he ever devoted to his own body. By any measurement, he wasn't as lucky as I was to have been born when I did.

Weird hairdos and sick minds

I wonder if anyone has ever conducted a thorough study on people wearing weird haircuts, and their disastrous consequences on mental sanity?

Since the human hair is located so close to the brain, it does affect its function and whenever the hairstyle goes off the established norm, it must confuse the synapses and may provoke erratic behavior on the subject wearing the non-conforming hairdo.

For those who don't quite know it, a synapse is a structure that allows a neuron (or nerve cell) to pass an electrical or chemical signal to another neuron. It is therefore easy to imagine the resulting chaos that takes place when the entire synapse network is hammered with continued electrochemical breakdowns caused by a disorderly hairstyle.

So, next time you find yourself in close proximity to a person like the ones illustrated on this blog, change sidewalk immediately.

After Silicon Valley met Trump

A few days ago, Trump invited the main players from Silicon Valley to his 25th floor conference room at Trump Tower and when the meeting was over, our group of “techies” went for a cup of coffee at Starbucks, right on the 2nd floor mezzanine of the building.

I was a fly on the wall and listened what these folks had to say after sitting for 90 minutes with Donald and his three kids.

Tim Cook: “What a coward he [Trump?] was; he didn't dare to ask me about repatriating Apple's overseas profits!”

Satya Nadella: You guys didn't see, but I arrived early and when he saw me, Eric summoned one of his security staff members, who came towards me and asked if I was here legally. I though I was gonna be deported on the spot...”

Eric Schmidt: “The Donald whispered to my ears that my Alphabet was terrific and that after studying it, he might start reading stuff instead of just twitting or watching TV!”

Jeff Bezos: “The only relevant question came from Ivanka who asked me if I could get her and her husband a free “Prime” subscription each. I said 'get out of here, you dad is a f... billionaire, isn't he?'”

Sheryl Sandberg: “Actually, Donald sounded quite interested about Facebook and asked me if it was sort of like Twitter and if I'd want to be his friend; I politely said, 'nah, you don't want me, because you'd get a fatal heart attack if you saw some of my posts...'”

Larry Page: “After what I heard and saw today, I'm done googling the Trumps forever!”

The last and best few words came from Elon Musk: “I had an epiphany at this meeting; it inspired me to have SpaceX build a single-seater capsule, custom tailored to fit our president-elect, and send him on a one-way trip to Europa [one of Jupiter frozen moons]!"

From fatigue to jogging suit

A few months ago, I had the good fortune to interview the “Comandante” Fidel Castro via Skype.

Go 11: How are you feeling today, Fidel?

Fidel: Pretty good, but I still feel a bit weak; the treatment didn't work as it should have. Still I'm in a good mood today, because I just got this new Adidas training suit!

Go11: It looks great on you! Tell me weren't you wearing Fila before?

Fidel: Yep, but its a complicated story. First, the color selection was seriously lacking. You didn't find the contrast Adidas offers. Then, the quality simply wasn't there. I had one shoulder that ripped at the shoulder seam and then there was their zippers. Ah, their zippers were just substandard; they failed on two occasions. I think the German simply make a superior garment.

Go11: Why did you quit wearing those fatigues? To be candid, you looked more revolutionary in them...

Fidel: After I passed the power on to Raoul, those became inconvenient. Too many pockets, I could never find in which one I had left my cigars, plus they were far to many buttons to button each morning and unbutton in the evening. Also, the cloth was kind of hard on my skin. If I were not close to my 90s I'd say that Adidas is to die for! Plus, the Adidas suit is much easier to handle, the pants have a rubber band and I always leave the top unzipped.

Go11: Where did you get that suit?

Fidel: Someone picked it up for me at the Adidas Outlet Store in Sunrise, Florida. Sure I wear them loose, but that one fit me right out of the bag.

Go11: Never thought of trying Nike?

Fidel: Are you kidding? These suits are for corrupt capitalists and I won't get caught dead in one of these (laugh)!

Go11: Just like free and fair elections in Cuba, right? Get out of here, Fidel!

My weekend with Donald Trump

A well-connected friend of mine, suggested to Donald Trump that he should bring me in to provide him some badly needed political advice. I got summoned to show up at Trump Towers last Sunday for a fee amount that I won't reveal, all expenses paid.

Since the weather was quite pleasant. I showed up at Trump's home dressed as if I had attended a typical meeting in Park City. T-shirt, jeans and sandals. From the looks he gave me, I don't think Donald liked my attire, but without even exchanging the usual brief pleasantries, we dove right into the heart of the matter.

I advised him to smile a little bit more, be a little bit less of a bully and refrain from calling his opponents names. He didn't seem to appreciate my recommendations either. Instead, he asked me what I had been doing all my adult life, what was my net worth and if I even had a job at the moment.

After barely listening to my answers he blurted out: “So, you're a loser!” I wanted to say “Why makes you say that?” but before I had time to even mentally form my response, I heard him scream “You're fired!” I caught the next flight to Salt Lake and got home earlier.

The perfect snow car...

As shopping season has officially begun in America, I've been torn between my upcoming Christmas present wishes. On one hand, I'd love to have a brand-new sports car to address a late, mid-life crisis, and on the other, my old snow blower needs to be replaced.

I've since communicated my desires to my spouse, who always very pragmatic and regimented, just said: “You just can have one, but not both”, knowing full-well that I would have to settle on the more mundane, snow-removal tool.

That's when Luigi Tuttofari came into the picture. You see, this man knows his way around Italian-made sports car (he's worked on Fiats all of his life) and he volunteered to modify the rig I had in mind, so it could meet both of my want and need.

He's managed to fit a snow-blower in the front of that little Lamborghini Huracán, that not only will help me clear the snow around the house, but also address the car's low ground clearance if I get stuck and will add some power to the front wheels when roads are slick.

You may object to the size and look of the discharge chute, but I personally think it adds to the character of the automobile and besides, I'm the only one using it!

An impromptu visit: My Dad

In this series, I'll try to imagine some unplanned, surprising visits made to me by people I know from my past or my current life, but that I can't see for a wide variety of reasons. Read on...

The doorbell rings; a man stands by my door. Wow! It's my dad, just looking like he did in 1988 when he passed away...

Me: Hello Dad, what a surprise!
Dad: Hi! God, you look old!
Me: Right; I'm close to 70 now, but you haven't changed a bit. Come on in!
Dad: That a big home... Too big! You live in that huge thing?
Me: It's not that big, it's just comfortable. We actually like it a lot.
Dad: What do you do? Are you still working in the ski business?
Me: I actually keep very busy, but I no longer working for someone, since nearly 10 years.
Dad: How are the kids; you only have two of them right?
Me: Yes we do. They're both doing great. Your grandson lives in Salt Lake, is married and has a little 6 year-old boy, named Finn. Your great grand kid. My wife says he looks just much like you. She thinks his head is shaped the same! Your grand-daughter lives and work in Washington, DC, you know, the nation's capital.
Dad: How is Evelyne?
Me: She's doing just fine. She takes great care of me, much like Mom used to take care of you.
Dad: Enjoy it while it lasts!
Me: So, tell me Dad, what have you been doing since you left us?
Dad: Absolutely nothing. I live in nothing, surrounded by nothing and doing nothing. It's the total absence of existence, so you're still in a much better place. Enjoy it to its fullest while it lasts!
Me: I sure will, Dad.

Bear hunting with my grandson...

Yesterday, was hunting day with Finn and we went for some really big game. We were specifically looking for huge grizzly bears and embarked upon the Armstrong Trail in Park City (you know the one that make your arms really strong).

By keeping a watchful eye on these formidable predators, we save the lives of at least 10 mountain bikers and learned an invaluable lesson: If you ever go with a friend in the back-country, and they are plenty of mean bears around, make sure you buddy doesn't run as fast as you do!