Undersecretary of “la Joie de Vivre”

Up until the election, I actively supported Obama by planting a sign in my yard, placing bumper stickers on our cars and attending his volunteer seminars. All along, I was secretly hoping to get a position in his new administration. My plan was simple; I wanted to become the undersecretary of “la Joie de Vivre” (the happy life) working for Tom Daschle who will be heading the Department of Health and Human Services. The platform I had developed would have changed America; consider this, among other social improvements I would have built a coast-to-coast skateboard lane along highway 66, I would have offered free Botox, breast or hair implant to folks over 55, I would have made available free energy drinks and potato chips at town and city council meetings to foster participation to civic events and I would have forced cable and satellite dish companies to offer at least one free movie and sport channels. I would have invited Hugo Chavez to talk about self-promotion on television, Fidel Castro to discuss maintenance and care of military “fatigues” as well as jogging suits, and brought Martine Aubry, a French socialist, to introduce the concept of a 35 hours work week, something she'd invented and successfully introduced several years before in her country. All these programs would have been paid by a small tax on food stuff that nobody would have even noticed. Well, apparently Barack Obama didn’t seem to value that plan and turned it down along with my candidacy. Am I crushed? You bet. Would I consider suicide? Probably not, because I’m afraid of death. Would I vote for McCain? Definitely, but it’s perhaps too late now…