What are you saying?

When you get to be my age, you get all sorts of offers and freebees. This is in large part because you're expected to be falling apart soon and that doctors as well as undertakers have constantly an eye on you.

They get your name from Medicare and AARP lists and don't want you to miss a beat without grabbing a few bucks from you in the process.

Following the funeral home's solicitation from a few weeks ago, I just received an invitation to have my hearing tested and was lured by a $50 restaurant certificate to submit to the evaluation.

I accepted the offer, with my focus solely on the free food and not so much on my auditory performance...

 - @~#&^_+%$>,?

Excuse me, I didn't quite get what you just said?