Thinking in circles

Yesterday, totally randomly, I stumbled upon a wonderful way to visualize our relationships. It began with an article in the L.A. Times about how not to say the wrong thing to people who suffer hardship, suffering or sickness. I thought the whole approach was right on target, especially with the accompanying illustration that helped visualize the whole idea.

My take-away was that the individuals (for instance, the victim or the sufferer) in the center ring could say anything they wanted to anyone, anywhere. They could complain, whine and moan all they wanted. Sure everyone else elsewhere in the external rings could say those things too, but only to those people situated in the larger rings.

The idea was that if you were talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal was to help, with the idea that often, listening well is more helpful than just talking. Basically, it means that if you're going to address a person in a ring smaller than the one you're in, ask yourself first if what you're about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn't, shut up!

I thought the concept was great and this lead me to dig a bit deeper into it. Tomorrow, I'll tell you what else I discovered about these circles or rings...