A short conversation with Trump

We don't typically frequent fancy restaurants in town, but on this occasion, we had a $50 coupon to use at the Glitretind restaurant in Deer Valley Resort. While we were still enjoying our meal, I had to briefly step out to grab something from the car. 

As I headed outside, I noticed a big guy, clad in a long, thick wool coat, sitting on the deck, deep in thought. I asked if he was alright, and he launched into a lengthy rant about some event he had attended earlier, exclaiming, "These darn Mormons don't know what they want, and they can't seem to support me!" 

Upon closer inspection, I couldn't help but notice his familiar appearance. I inquired, "Excuse me, sir, by any chance are you a Donald Trump impersonator?" He interrupted, "No, I'm the real Donald J. Trump!" I chuckled and replied, "Come on, you've got to be kidding me." "No, I'm dead serious. I'm currently campaigning for a third term to kick Biden out of the office he stole from me," he confidently declared. 

I shook my head and said, "Well, good luck with that. But just so you know, you might find yourself behind bars before you step foot in the Oval Office again." He scoffed, "Ah, another pathetic, woke, liberal, communist brainwashed by the leftist media!" 

I retorted, "Not at all, Donny. I gather my news from reputable, non-partisan sources. And don't think you can insult me like you do with those who fear your wrath. Watch your language, or I might give you a swift kick in the rear, straight down to the valley!" Detecting a hint of a French accent, he questioned, "I sense a French accent in you. Why don't you go back to your sorry country and be one less frog for me to stomp on?" 

I rolled my eyes and shot back, "Dude, if you had even an ounce of education, you'd remember Lafayette. But your arrogant and bellicose attitude reminds me of Adolf Hitler. He must be your hero, right? Although, I must say, the Führer was a tad more cunning than you and actually put in some hard work!" He dismissively replied, "I don't understand a word of the nonsense spewing from your sorry face, man!" 

I smirked and said, “Well, this is precisely your biggest problem, Instead of teaching you how to lie, your father should have told you that you'd catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? If you had applied this simple rule, you would have grown your base big time, and possibly defeated Biden in 2020. Today, you might have already toppled our democracy and its institutions, but you are too stubborn to listen to smart people, you prefer to hear what Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani keep telling you! 

Waving me off his sight, he grumbled, “You’re a total disgrace, get out of here!” As I walked to my car, I put and end to the conversation by saying, “No worries, Dude, just enjoy the witch hunt on your way to jail!”