The power of “No”

If you're like me and are a rather social animal, you may prefer to acquiesce when asked something out of the blue, even if sometime, you feel set up and would prefer in fact to just say no, or think a bit further about the question. It's not rare that we feel terrible after giving away that “yes” that was pried away from us. Yet, answering by the negative often feels as if we were shutting down doors instead of opening bridges. As parents, we are under enormous and constant pressure to address our children demand and most often than not, denying many requests tears us apart and could be a reason for fights or conflicts between parents.

Then times goes on and we keep on being confronted daily with close ended requests and we learn along the way on the basis of the response uttered under those circumstances. I'm currently in the middle of some business negotiations that are important to me and am bombarded with lots requests, some of them outlandish and sometimes almost legitimate. Yet, I have a goal in mind that sets the direction I want to go to. I frame-freeze the whole process, set my thinking in slow motion, examine the request on all sides and then just refuse it; often without explanations when I don't have to offer one. It works and I feel good!