Self managing envy

The opposite of envy is generosity, that is, finding joy and admiration in the success of other people and sorrow in their failure. 

If envy happens in our lives, first we have to recognize that it’s there and then, when we do, if it’s not used as a way to emulate ourselves and is felt as a hindrance to our well being, do something about it, and this is what we’ll explore today, short of seeing a therapist of course.

First, envy needs to be confronted and replaced with positive feelings like gratitude and admiration. The first step is to identify what creates envy. Often, it’s a person or friend that is similar to us; if we have a low self-esteem, it becomes easier to see others as threats or just happier than we are. 

Then we need to research who we truly are, what defines us. For example, if we value kindness and believe in reciprocity, we're less likely to feel insecure about competing with anyone over any of these elements. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge what’s not in our true self and could trigger envy of comparison, but is outside of what’s the real us. 

When we feel the need to measure ourselves against others, let’s focus on our own needs and try to get inspiration from others for the qualities we need to develop, but by all means we must never sell yourself short! Remember also that what we see in others is a surface-level detail and that they will rarely expose the negative sides of their lives. 

It's also essential to seek and keep the company of positive individuals and avoid the company of deeply competitive folks. In conclusion let’s always be grateful for what we have, fully appreciate what make us unique, always thank people who lift us up, seek their company and feel happy for all folks that surround us, staying away from self-deprecating talk, and always keeping in mind that we should always be in competition against ourselves and no one else.