Standing our ground

It often hard to stand our ground, even when we believe that we are entitled to do it, in terms of our beliefs, values or simply good logic. Often, these rights of ours are violated in ways that are so audacious and unexpected that we're under such a shock and so unprepared that we quickly give in. It's only in the aftermath of the attack and after acquiescing to something we can't really live with, that we become angry, spiteful or even depressed. This comes down to certain folks not playing by the rules and taking us by total surprise. The difficulty in successfully dealing with such intruders is precisely found in handling perfectly well the effect of surprise.

We need to literally think on our feet and rebuff the aggressor effectively, with both control and grace. These latter two elements are often hard to muster if it's the first time we fend off the attacker. With experience, it can become deceivingly easy. My best advice on dealing well with that kind of situation, is gaining some time by first asking a clarifying question, as a response to the unreasonable request. Something like “what exactly do you have in mind?” This help make certain that the demand is as egregious as we thought we heard it, and then calmly develop an appropriate answer. Like anything else, dealing with nasty people requires both time and practice!