Monday, May 15, 2017

Adventures in cholesterol

On Saturday, I responded to my health insurance company's annual invitation by to have my vital signs checked and see if I were in any imminent danger of losing my dear life.

So, as a good trooper, I just showed up and was measured from top to bottom and from side to side. Among other measurements, I got my cholesterol count that was well within the acceptable norms. No overage anywhere, no worries!

This was the second time I got such a good score when I went to this insurance-sponsored visit.

I also must say that my cholesterol readings stood in sharp contrast with the results I regularly get at my annual doctor check-up, in which my acceptable levels are always off the charts, always prompting my physician to prescribe me statins, which I refuse with all my might.

All this to say that, in keeping with conspiracy theories, I suspect the lab associated with my dear doctor is in cahoots with Pfizer or some other drug producer to get me hooked to their poisons. There's definitely a pattern there and I don't think I'm paranoid!

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